I Know
by FTW-ijustwannagetdrunk
Summary: someone shows up on a doorstep a year later... r/r also let me know who you think it is and whether i should do the other pov
1. Chapter 1

I know your secrets

I know your secrets

I know what you hide

I know it's inside of you

I know part of you died

I know you are restless

I know the time that you bide

I know that you are helpless

I know your stories side

And what scares you the most

I know you lied

Reading the familiar writing I glance up at you seeing the look of desperation, although this was long gone, dead, buried well over a year ago, you're standing on my doorstep wanting to know why I wrote that and why I left. Looking at the desperation on your face I realize it's not a want but a need. Yet you can't grasp that I need you to not be here, I need to let my silly little dreams go, after all only silly little girls have those dreams. Looking into the chocolaty depths of you eyes bring tears to mine, yet I don't let them fall, blinking the back I look away not wanting to remember. That part of my life is finished, over, I'm not the fiery, abrasive person I was now I'm cold calculating and quiet. I snap back to reality when I feel a pressure on my face, your hand dragging my face so my eyes meet yours silently searching for something, I see your face widen to shock although I don't know why. A movement I catch out the corner of my eye shows me that your other hand is coming up to my face stopping just below my jaw I feel your callused thumb wipe away moisture I didn't know was there. So you brought me to tears, hope you're proud of yourself! I think whilst sending a glare your way. Your eyes are still searching for something when I ask, you simply say my name, seeing confusion written all over my face you expand stating that this girl is not me. Closing my eyes whispering the old me is dead, that I have become too broken to be that person again. Shaking your head again you ask me why I wrote what I wrote. My reply to you is simply this, everyone has a story; yours was just a lie. Opening my eyes glancing back at you through my eyelashes I see the confusion, you don't see what I see, don't feel what I feel, at P.C.A. we were too similar for me not to see the lies, I was surprised you didn't though. Catching my eye I throw you a knowing look and realisation hits you like a tonne of bricks bringing your face down to mine your lips millimeters from mine. You whisper thank-you and finally close the gap. The sparks raging through my body giving me hope. A feeling I haven't felt in years, hope that two broken souls can fix each other and as the tear stained paper flutters to the ground I know something else.

You know my secrets

You know what I hide

You know it's inside of me

You know part of me died

You know I am restless

You know the time that I bide

You know that I am helpless

You know my stories side

And what scares you the most

You know I never lied

hey just to let you know here is my disclaimer unfortunetly i dont own anything ony the plot also i read the poem used somewhere but for the life of me i cannot remember where and it has been swimming around in my head for awhile... so whoever owns it u rock and total copyright thingies to you...

should i do the other pov or not... let me know... love you...


	2. Chapter 2

Voices

They whisper in your ear

Telling you things you don't want to hear

For your feelings they do not care

Telling you to do what you do not dare

Screaming things

That echo in your dreams

Crying in pain

They take over your brain

And all you want is for it to end.

Months, weeks, days had passed since you had shown up on my door step, my life fractured even more so by your abrupt departure. Broken promises of phone calls and emails, I don't understand why I'm disappointed after all I did expect it, why would this time around be any different? Still as yet another semester begins I feel even more alone. Despite the hundreds of students that surround me, none of them could ever possibly understand me like you do. Walking through campus I hear the whispered conversations, rumours, gossip mostly about me and my latest endeavour, or the scars lining my body. I thought you were going to be my saviour, obviously I was wrong. After you left again I decided to stop caring about life itself, it hurts too much to care but even more so not to. I slowly started drowning in the darkness again with no escape this time, the pain I endured throughout my life slowly tearing through me shattering my soul, I'm nothing but an empty shell and yet each time I think I see you even if only for a second the despair stops because I finally feel as though you have come to rescue me, like I'm a princess and your my knight in shining armour, butt of course it's not you and I sink even father. I've been torn apart completely destroyed my only saving grace is a single blade covered in crimson stains, another scar appears on my arm the next day. Each time I think of you another scar appears its sick I know but it's the only way to forget you. Even more months past and you're hardly a blip on my radar any more I've opened up ever so slightly and even have myself a boyfriend, yet I receive news about everyone from chase, the only one of you all who bothered to stay in contact, he came to visits whilst he was in England telling me how you weren't the giant flirt you were before and you even have long term relationships so my question and reason for this email becomes why couldn't you have that with me? Why did you have to tear me down at every chance and yet at the same time make me believe you actually cared for me? The voices in my head have come back to haunt me, my doubts and insecurities, past pains and loves yet you're the strongest, loudest voice and I surmise that you always will be, I just don't think I will be able to deal with them long enough to confirm that and so I ask you to let me go and let me move on from you even though I distrust I ever will.

Voices

They whisper in your ear

Telling you things you don't want to hear

For your feelings they do not care

Telling you to do what you do not dare

Screaming things

That echo in your dreams

Crying in pain

They take over your brain

And all you want is for it to end.

* * *

So how'd you like it figure out who it is yet??? Sorry I haven't been writing in a very long time I just haven't had any inspiration or motivation hopefully this will set me going again I really do love to write

Anyway see the nifty little button below that I like all other writers love please press and send me that review all are much appreciated


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